I Have Chosen to Stay and Fight by Margaret Cho

Author:Margaret Cho [Cho, Margaret]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Vigliano Books
Published: 2016-02-08T08:00:00+00:00

kevyn aucoin

New York reminds me so much of you. Coming into town, I would always stare out the window of the cab, looking at the streets, loving them, knowing you were here, wondering what you were doing that moment. Then I would recall the smell of lemons, that perfume you gave me last time I saw you, before you died.

I wish you were still here, because the new Patty Griffin album is beautiful, especially the song, "Top of the World." Listening to it makes me miss you, and I can't stop thinking about whether you get the latest music in heaven. Does it drift up to meet you? Do you hear it? Maybe you even get it before it comes out. Maybe God gives you a heads-up, like when Patty was writing the song, and you got to hear it come right out of her that first time.

Tori Amos has two more records out, and they are amazing. She was your favorite, I know, and she loved you. She covered "Rattlesnakes," which is my favorite Lloyd Cole song, and it makes me cry hard, because your life wasn't long enough for you to hear it, but I'm just hanging on to the hope that iTunes are available up above, and the afterlife is rife with iPods. What's on your playlist?

You loved women more than most men, or even women, and you were such a good uncle to your niece. You were forever concerned about her transition to womanhood, whether she would make it in the harsh world of today. You would have been excited because in D.C. there were a million women marching for their right to reproductive choice. The press said that it was just a few hundred thousand, but we are many millions, and because women are everywhere all the time and we were all there. All the many women you loved, all around me. It was funny being surrounded by women while all the time I had you, this big, tall, handsome man, on my mind.

You had done wondrous things with all of their faces; their beauty reflected your beauty. That was what you did here on earth. As passionately as people make love, you made beauty, and not just with the powder and rouge and lipsticks but with your faith, your joy, your understanding. It wasn't makeup, it was love, and that was clear.

Can you see me? I am beautiful, which I never thought was true, but you made me see it, and then that insight faded away, but now I see it again, I can't get away from it. Thank you for that. The women at the march were beautiful because they were there, and they were all focused on one thing: the right to be themselves.

I got into it with a Mennonite, but, you know, I'm straight-up thug, and you can't take me anywhere but Knuckletown. I said, "Step up, come on. Bring it!!!!! Ezekiel!!!!!" He was making his wife and kids hold up blown-up pictures of fetuses that had been torn up, all bloody.

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